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Gail's Advice - First Installment

Rule #1 Be Honest

That is perhaps the best and most difficult advice I can give you. Honesty is easily overlooked, forgotten, and under-appreciated thing we do. But it the most important.

Be honest with yourself first!

We are all guilty of taking on too much and finding ourselves wishing we hadn't later when it is too late. But those of us that find ourselves here permanently are not only lying to themselves, they are out of touch with who they are!

Why? Because their entire existence has been one long string of lies. When you lie to yourself constantly it becomes second nature. You no longer ignore that inner voice, you don't even hear it. You suffer the consequences, so you let it slide...because quite honestly those that lie to themselves that much just don't feel good about themselves period.

It starts as a defense mechanism to cope..."I'm fine, really, that's just a flesh wound, no no I don't need to have you here with me, it's ok, I'll be fine..."and on and on until you start to believe it. You feel better .... for awhile

Then you find yourself empty inside and start to self medicate. Either with food, meds, alcohol or whores, or whatever your mind tells you will numb the pain. (those are just the most common, not at all the complete list)

It all started because you were dishonest with your self and probably because your self value was destroyed. To get that back you have to start being honest. With yourself, and Everyone else too!

So Rule #1 is:
Be Honest

Start today, and don't stop. It will feel'll start getting the tingles of that inner voice back, and then you'll feel selfish...but don't stop. Just keep on being honest! You won't be the most popular, but you'll start to heal finally.

GAIL'S ADVICE - The Real World -

The rule in action...

An example of this is: You bang your head b/c you are in a hurry and didn't close the cabinet door. Your head hurts! You take a tylenol and lie down. You wake up feeling better and as you go to get a drink you bang your head weren't looking. You didn't take the time to close that door. Damn. No tylenol this time, so you let it ache and try to ignore it. But now you are throbbing and as you stumble into the bathroom you stump your big toe. "SOB" you say and throw up your hands and go back to what you were doing.

Your pains eventually go away. You feel better. You've forgotten all about that and the next day you see the door is still hanging open on the cabinet. So you close it right?

You let yourself heal, you took action to treat and you took care of the problem. So do that in your personal life too!

Rule #1 Be Honest
Start by telling people what you REALLY think! Be bold and daring. It will feel wierd awesome and even naughty. You might have to use the edited version at work, but you get the idea.

When someone asks Hey do you like this shirt, and it's hideous...say hmm no, but I'm not the one who has to wear it. Or when someone asks, "How are you today?" Try saying, better than yesterday, but only if it's true. If you are worse than the previous day, say something like not so hot today, but maybe tomorrow will be better.

Stupid? It may seem that way. But you are enforcing positive ideas that are needed to get out of this funk!! AND being honest at the same time.

That goes for eveything...

So it's the end of the month and bill collectors want to be your best friend no doubt. Calling you several times a day. When you can, answer them. Tell them you have no idea when you can pay, tell them whatever is true. Ask them if they offer any help, assistance, discounts or plans. Write it down. Make an arrangement you can actually manage. If you don't know, then just say that.

Avoidance only makes things worse...just be honest. They might still call, they might erase fees, they may even have a program that will help.
You have to ask though.

Start being honest all the time. If you don't want to do something don't say maybe, say no.

Make it a habit and start right away.

OK, so I know that was a lot...there will be more the next day and the next...
so be ready! And you don't have to read them. It's there to help, if it doesn't throw it out. And that goes for any advice you get.


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