Starving Artist Forum

So you made it through the first book! Great! Here's the latest:

#2 Close Doors

Yeah I know....you've heard this so much it's old. But it's been pounded into your head for good reason! You cannot go forward if things are left undone.

Have you ever been in the middle of Walmart and thought, "Did I turn the coffee pot off?" Your mind is in aholding pattern trying to figure it out, and you aren't enjoying or even paying all that much attention the rest of the time. And then you rush home to make sure.

Yeah, you might have been overcharged by $1 or maybe nothing happened, but if this is how you live emotionally, it costs you a lot more.

Not being present in your own life is a terrible waste of happiness. There is always a bright spot in every day, if you see it. If you are so focused on the past that you can't you are missing out on so much that life has to offer. You probably feel disappointed with your life and hopeless about it's outcome.

Most of us are unaware that we do this. It is that subconscious mind that is focusing all our energy, and our own thoughts are far from the past. In fact, most people with open doors have so many cobwebs in them, that they spend quite a bit of there thoughts on trying to forget or NOT to think of the past.

This is were "IF" kills us.

The what if's of life can really weigh us down. They always seems harmless. And they usually make us feel pretty good during the actual thought..."If I had a million dollars..."

But they can trap us there. Like being stuck in virtual reality and the rest of the world is in true color. We live and breathe, but never even 'see' another human being because we are too busy dreaming.

Dreams can be good if they motivate us to acheive something greater. But when they are what gets us through the day, they become a weight dragging us down. We start to feel even more hopeless because the dreams are so out of proportion by that point that our life seems very pale and boring next to them.

Dream. But use them as a tool to get you moving toward an obtainable goal.

Love. But love like you've never been hurt.
And that takes closing doors.

Gail's Advice In The Real World:

So you may or may not have doors to close. To know for sure pause for a moment and think about 'regrets' and 'losses' you've experienced.

Did you move through all the steps to recover from each one?

Steps are:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Sadness
4. Acceptance
5. Contentment

You can do these steps all in a day or over several years. But they are almost always in that order and need to be completed before a door can shut.

When you reach the point where you can look back at a loss or regrettable situation and not feel an emotion associated with it. Then you have reached contentment and that door is shut.

I personally don't believe in locking doors. Even a painful occurrence made you who you are and can be looked back on to grow or to help someone else going through a similar situation. If that door was locked you would try to avoid it, and feel like something in you shouldn't be there. You may have reached a pint where you have accepted it, but you have not learned to live with it, so you are stuck at step 4.

This is true for every loss, every hurt, and every missed opportunity you have.

And you have to go back to the ones that are still there locked up tight and go through these steps again. Either where you left off or from the first one again...before you can move on to be the happiest, healthiest, and most complete you possible.

So if you cry every time you see a white cat with green eyes because you lost your beloved pet. Work on ways to deal with that loss until you are able to see one and only remember how much you adored that pet, and no longer feel the pain of it's loss.

Of course most of our pains are much more serious in nature. And you may need to go to a counselor to help you get to that point for your life.

Make the appointment.

Make a list of what you want to move on from and close finally.

Start working toward that goal, and dream about how great that will feel when you can look back without fear, hatred, or bitterness.

Most of medical problems are linked to our emotions, so you will see that start to improve as well!

Get those doors closed. They are keeping someone or something great away from your life, and you are worth the effort it will take to move on.

Tell yourself "I'm worth it!" AND "My doors are closing!" Then make it happen.